Butterfly Wings
by InfiniteSnow
Summary: I know the pain. The pain of being left behind. It hurts a lot. When the Hooded Lady left you, I share your burden, pain, sadness, and loneliness. It feels like you are being locked, deprived of your freedom, like getting your butterfly wings ripped off. A YuMe [Kaname/Yuuki] sweet oneshot entirely told from Yuuki's POV. (Rated T to be safe)


[Yuuki's POV]

I understand your pain, Kaname.

I understand that when you had your battle against me, sword against scythe, that you loved the Hooded Lady more than you could love me, and I sadly accepted the fate. I couldn't go against you, because I felt like my heart would be ripped out of my body if I ever saw you cry.

I can't let you cry, onii-sama. Even if the love you have for me is just to be my brother instead of brother and a lover like we are expected to be. Even if you leave me…

_I will still love you from all my heart._

I opened my eyes, and Aidou-senpai was looking at me with alarmed eyes, "You can't let others see you cry, Yuuki-sama. I know you are sad, but others will think this is the perfect time to take down a pureblood, all to strengthen their name."

He set a hand on my shoulder, and looked at me with understanding eyes. Those electric blue eyes, though he narrowed them at me and called me several names when I was human and a pureblood, were soft, like a good friend who will hug you when no one wants to.

I hug him, catching him off guard, and murmered, "Thank you."

He blushes as bright as a Christmas tree and I giggle, letting my emotions run free before I got on the battle ground to face Kaname once more, to stop him.

But I know that if his heart lies with the Hooded Lady, then I have no right to stop him.

Downcast eyes laid upon the tiled floor, I walked silently once more, down the corridor.

Reaching the gates, my eyes widened at the scene.

I expected Kaname to hug and embrace her. I thought they would have a happy reunion. But instead, it was the opposite.

Kaname looked like he was on the verge of suicide, so I dropped my morals of being his temporary enemy and rushed to his side and tried to shake him.

"Onii-sama, what happened? Are you all right?" I tried to shake an answer from him. But when he just looked at me with sad eyes and shook his head, I looked up in horror to see the worst sight of all.

The Hooded Lady was hand-in-hand with another man. I used my pureblood senses, and was shocked to find that the man was my kind, a pureblood as well.

"I never disclosed any information about my younger brother and real fiancé. He died because humans killed him. I dedicated the rest of my life to humans before offering my own life as well," the Hooded Lady said with sad eyes, "I'm sorry Kaname, I'm sorry."

She disappeared along with her lover, and left me and Kaname in the same room. I looked around at Kaname with sorrowful eyes. He must've loved her so much, and it hurts when someone you love betrays you. But if Kaname ended up with her and would smile, then I would happily live with the stinging pain that broke my heart apart on a daily basis.

I would smile, because he would be happy.

But now, I will cry because he is crying on the inside.

"I'm sorry, Kaname-onii-sama," I gave him the old honorific, hoping that it would revive some of his old self.

Instead he glared at me with an intensity that he never used on me. He then swiveled on his boots and said, "Don't pity me with the same eyes as _her_, Yuuki. Let's go."

My heart felt it got torn in two.

I felt that my butterfly wings were ripped in half.

How could I pity him? I understand his pain and he takes my understanding as pity. Tears stung at my eyes, but I remembered Aidou's words to not cry in front of others because I am a pureblood.

I followed Kaname with Aidou-senpai at my side, casting worried glances at me with his blue eyes, checking if I was okay. But I was far from okay.

I felt shattered.

oooooo

Days, weeks, and months passed by since the Hooded Lady turned her back. Kaname shut himself in his room, silent as a stone inside. The only thing I could hear was the continuous scribble of his pen on paper. You guessed it right. Ever since the incident, Kaname just drowned himself in paperwork, hoping that doing the endless task could get his mind off of the Hooded Lady.

I went downstairs and made his favorite tea, jasmine tea, hoping that the fragrant tea could get his mind off of the paperwork and stress he is drowning himself in.

I knock on the door. He told me to never knock, that I can come as I may, but I knew better. Mother always told me good manners, ladylike or not, was to be courteous to others by knocking by giving acknowledgement.

A deep sigh came from the other side, and said, "Come in."

I came in, and forced a laugh from the back of my throat as I chuckled, "Nii-san, how do you always guess it is me?"

"Your scent."

Then a pregnant pause filled the room. I just ran out of silly things to talk about in one second. I mentally kicked myself. Good going, Yuuki, good going. He is so enjoying himself right now.

I broke the silence by nervously laughing, because his wine eyes were boring on me, studying each and everyone of my body actions.

"Ahahaha! How stupid of me! You're right!" I forced giggles, and tried to make them natural, "Anyways, I made your favorite tea, hoping that it can reduce your headache. Paperwork is tiring, ne?"

He reached out a hand, but I forced a smile on. He dropped his icy mask that he always has on and had on a slightly worried one.

But I continued my act, "Don't worry, nii-san! I know I am bothering your work right now! I'll go and make sure you get your work in time for dinner!"

I ran out of his room, ignoring his worried calls for me to come back. I ran up to my room in the down the hallway of the manor, ignoring the whole wide world. It hurt me, to see him sadly stare at nothing. It pained me to see him just dump more paperwork on himself when the headmaster begged for him to stop. I even gratefully volunteered to do it for him, and headmaster tried to convince him that was a good idea.

But he would never listen and would continue to pour work on himself.

I barged in my room and slammed it shut. I ran over to my little toy chest of all the fluffy stuffed animals that mom and dad bought for me all over the world.

Mom handmade me a bunny that was almost life-sized with a height of four feet and pudgy. Crawled up on the bed, with my trusty bunny clasped in my arms, I cried my heart out.

Few hours later, I found that my head wasn't in a pillow, but a lap.

A hand was stroking my head.

But it wasn't Kaname.

"You feeling better, Yuuki-chan?" a soft girly voice came out. I opened my tear-stained eyes to look up at my best friend, Sayori.

Zero was glaring at me from the doorpost muttering, "You have one hour with her, bloodsucker."

I flinched at the level of glare and broke into new sobs. Everyone hates me, everyone despises me. No one wants me in their sight. I am a mere nuisance.

Yori sent a death glare at Zero and told him to shut up and leave us alone.

Zero gave a stubborn 'hmph' and left the room, slamming it loudly behind him.

Then, as I was about to crawl out of Sayori's lap, she pushed me down, and sang me a lullaby, that I have never heard before. But, as good as she was with surprises, she was as good as making me love whatever she sings.

Her soft, warm, young voice reminded me of mother's, how she would pat my hair softly when I had nightmares.

Slowly and softly, I fell asleep, again.

When I woke up, she was gone. I guess she left after her one hour was over.

I looked over to my dresser; I saw a note from Sayori, promising me she will come as often as Kaname doesn't mind.

Kaname…his name stings in my chest, and it hurts, to see him motionless, looking at something far away, or to just bury his face with paperwork. It was too depressing, even when he stopped taking blood from me, I felt like a pathetic excuse of a sister. I couldn't convince him otherwise. I am sure Sara Shirabuki would've been the perfect alternative, given that when her girly mind is set on convincing him, then she won't give up.

But… I sighed and touched my forehead; he turned her down, bluntly. I decided if he won't take blood, then I will not take any either, even though he told me countless times that my age in vampire years is very young and that I need fresh blood daily or every other day.

But I won't. I will starve myself until he takes some.

Wobbling downstairs, I gripped the railing as being anemic had caused a strain in my powers. When I reached the kitchen, several maids supposed to cook the meals rushed to my side when I looked like I was going to collapse.

"Yuuki-sama! You need blood!"

"This isn't healthy!"

"You're killing yourself!"

"Blood tablets," I rasped out.

I fumbled for the pantry, and got the huge container of white pills. A maid handed me a glass of water when she realized I was going to stay stubborn. I dropped 7 pills hoping that putting more blood tablets might increase the flavor.

When the blood tablets managed to finish mixing with the water, I downed it. As I was taking my last sip, the face I saw through my see-through glass, almost made me want to spit out my mouthful of the mixture.

"Yuuki, this isn't healthy," Kaname sadly shook his head at the container.

"So?" I turned around on my heels. His blood intoxicated me to the point that I wanted to cry. But drinking the strong concentrated blood imitation, I could resist the urge. I grabbed the white container. I made a mental note to ask headmaster for another container of these white pills.

I shoved the pills to the back of the pantry and closed the door.

"You need blood," he offered his wrist to me.

I swatted it away, and a look of disappointment crossed his face. I scoffed, "I'm not a little girl. You can quit trying to baby me."

"Yuuki…"

"And do know, you're also getting yourself nowhere. I mean, if you didn't drink fresh blood at all, how else are you able to control your senses?" I retorted.

He stood quiet. I knew I was right. But something in his eyes made him want to end my suffering. He wanted to end my months and months of suffering. But it hurts, when the only person his heart beats for is for her.

I turned around but didn't move, "I only live for your happiness. No matter what, I will still love you and call you 'onii-sama' even though you're just my ancestor. I will kill myself on the spot if me living makes you unhappy. I will let you love whoever you want if you feel your heart doesn't reside with me. Because my whole existence is for you. You, and your happiness is all that keeps me on Earth."

With my little speech done, I went towards my room, with a lot more strength than when I came down. I could tell that Kaname was still where he was, standing still, shocked at my confession.

I closed my door, and went towards my bed which was neatly made by one of the maids.

I sat in the bed, and drew the covers to my chin.

I wanted to cry, but no tears would re-surface. I sighed. Living on like this, was like letting someone rip my butterfly wings off.

My wings are my happiness. They helped me escape the harshest of conditions, they brought me to safety. But they are the very thing that could take me away from Kaname, forever.

I sighed, and in pure frustration, I knotted my hand in my hair. I do not know how much I can go on like this, deprive myself of blood, especially when he readily offers it to me.

But I can't do that if his heart really doesn't love me back.

I am so tired of life, of holding onto my last thread. Feeling that my eyes were truly stubborn, I let sleep overtake me, and I sunk under the sheets, letting artificial comfort wash over me.

oooooo

Three more months of this pure torture had gone by and Kaname had become persistent not only by night, but by day as well.

He would try to make some maids sneak some blood past my lips, but I caught them and sent whatever blood sample back.

I would have none of it.

My phone rang, and I went towards the middle of the living room.

Ever since my health declined, Kaname reduced his time in his study, behind all those mountain stack of papers, and actually start to stalk me around the house.

I pick up the old-style phone and put it to my ear, and can uneasily feel Kaname's wine eyes bore into my neck.

"Hello?" I call formally.

"Yuuki-chan? I got from Zero-kun that you want…another three containers of blood tablets? Why?" headmaster asked bluntly.

"Ah…you see...well…" I didn't want to say it when he was in the room.

"He's in the room, isn't he?" headmaster deadpanned.

"Yes," I said.

"Tell him to leave the room for a few minutes. This is daddy-daughter time!" I held the phone out for him to hear that last sentence.

Kaname tensed, and hesitated, but nodded swiftly before leaving the room for our privacy.

I sighed loudly, before sitting on the Victorian Couch, but hissed loudly when my stomach started to ache badly. Not enough blood has ugly side-effects.

"I can take that sound of pain as you have been starving yourself!" headmaster scolded.

"Yes," I glumly admitted.

"How long?" headmaster sounded like he was going to tear in two.

"If I tell you that, then you will hit me very hard on the head," I scoffed.

"Of course I won't! I wouldn't be a daddy anymore in your view and that would be called Child Abuse!" the headmaster gasped in comical horror.

"But you aren't my dad. Didn't Yagari-san tell you?" I asked. Yagari was a vampire hunter like headmaster but the one with a rational mind and was not dense at all. A shocking thunderclap sounded on the other side of the phone line.

"You're so cold, Yuuki-chan! Now answer my question!" he wailed.

"What was it again?" I scratched my head. With that mini-war, I forgot his probing question.

"How long?" he asked again.

"About a year," I answered remorsefully.

"This is serious, Yuuki! I need to tell Kaname about this!" headmaster gasped loudly.

"Please don't. If he hears, then I will be in so much trouble," I pleaded him.

"Let's just say I overheard the conversation," a deep velvet voice two feet behind me.

"I will take this queue and hang up," headmaster snickered with a plan up his sleeve.

"Headmaster!" I protested.

"Call me daddy! And talk to you tomorrow!" and then the line went dead.

I sighed in frustration, and slammed the phone down. The moment the phone met the cradle, two huge arms gripped my wrists and pinned me against a wall. I stood, not even trying to move from his grasp.

"Why?" decorum and manly pride were pushed aside when I saw something glitter down his cheeks. Was he…crying?

"Why?" he pinned me harder and created a live cage so I couldn't use my strength to make a run for it. Not like I had any from the stupid starvation mode I put myself in.

"You don't love me, thats why," I pierced his eyes with my own.

"Since when?" a look of disbelief passed him.

"You know when. And you tell me I am the only one playing dumb," I glared at him.

The day Hooded Lady looked at Kaname with pitiful eyes. The day she left him with another lover hand in hand. The day she left his life for good was the day I was referring. It was the day he glared at me, the first and only time. Of course now, he realized he never meant it towards me, but then he regretted doing it because it left a hole in my heart.

The moment he glared at me, was the moment I felt as if he ripped off my butterfly wings.

He realized, and softened his gaze.

"I loved her, because she took pity on me when no one wanted to see me. She gave me a name, a sense of belonging, and something to live for. But then she left me, and then with her death I realized that I had a sense of wanting to own her rather than to love her. I was infatuated and oblivious that she didn't show any signs of loving me back. But when you came along, I was glad that I was given a chance to be your brother. I kept a reserved distance because after this entire living nightmare I put you through, forcing you to chase after me, I thought you hated me to the brim," Kaname looked at me sadly.

My eyes filled with tears and I sobbed. Kaname let go of my wrists, allowing me to run away if I so desired to.

But instead, I flung myself at him, wrapping my slender arms around him, and cried out in his chest until my eyes spent out dry. Kaname tightly wrapped his arms around me, softly bringing a hand to stroke the hair down.

"Will you grow your hair out for me, Yuuki?" he was disturbed by the fact that I had the will to chop off my long locks with my scythe.

I sniffled and nodded, making Kaname smile.

"Now drink," he caressed my face.

I bared her tiny fangs and bit onto Kaname's wrist, and took my time with my fill. Knowing I had restrained herself for a year, I took a partial amount, enough to calm my Thirst down.

Kaname looked displeased when my eyes still glowed hungrily when I departed from his wrist, "You didn't take enough Yuuki."

"I starved myself for a year. I might drain you. I'll take some tomorrow," I assured him.

He smiled when I promised him that.

"What about you?" I asked him.

"I'll take some when we go to bed," he smiled at me, caressing my locks and smiling at me with emotions I thought never belonged to his face: pure serenity.

I smiled in relief, and leaned into his touches, happily.

"Will you promise me to stay by my side forever?" he brought up suddenly.

"Of course, Kaname, with all my heart," I smile at him.

He smiles and draws me in a kiss, a silent kiss that seals our love.

I felt weird. I felt a lot lighter now.

I felt like instead of raining, it was shining down. I felt that instead of my wings being ripped apart…

That I grew a pair of shiny new butterfly wings.

_-Fin-_


End file.
